BE AFRAID YET DO IT ANYWAY
Never can we be not afraid. Unless we, like the characters of a fictional story, are at the point of redemption; finally standing against the wild tides, never agreeing to any loss again. Sometimes even at those moments, fear still lies within, silent but existing.
There are various reasons behind fear. It may be because of a traumatic experience, a horror movie that deprived us of sleep, or an embarrassing action we did in front of someone else. Time flies, the world gets over, and yet the sudden recurring of these events in our minds continue to make us feel inferior. I often find myself staring at nothing, almost like sliding internally into the memories I had, trying to watch a movie and create an alternate ending. But once a clip, any clip of my younger self unwary of how inexplicable her actions were, my hands start to flail away the imagination. Depending on the cringe level, a shriek may be added.
The desire not to add another scarring clip as such, and the anxiety to feel played by whoever lucky witnesses, keep us from doing the things we wonder doing. While it is valid to feel that, may we not keep ourselves in a cage, stagnant and scared. Slowly, let us let loose of this grip against discovering past our limits. It may not be easy, and some need professional help to fully address it, but if you continue reading this in hopes to win against doubt and fear in your mind, I’d like to share these three tips.
These tips are what I currently and continuously remind myself of as I fulfill a promise I made last year to become more open with experiences, learn from them, and become a better person even if it means facing my dislikes and fears.
Reprogram your mindset.
My professor in Thesis I made an excellent point in describing why out of 5 positive comments, we continue to focus on a singular criticism. It stems from our childhood, in which our parents frequently pinpoint the results of our actions, not giving much attention to the process we went into. We are focused on becoming an ace, a perfection, and a single mistake outweighs the reward of our hard work. It should not be like that, but we are raised with such a mindset.
Personally, from there, the insecurity comparing the achievements of my peers to mine grew. Though amazed and proud of their successes in life, I could not help but question where I am currently at. To reprogram your mindset is to know and understand that it is not a competition for whoever reaches the goal first. Life is not a race. Each of us is traveling along our paths at our paces. Change our perspective: before the anticipated reward, appreciate ourselves for wanting to try.
In fear of becoming a disappointment or embarrassment, reprogram your mind to accept that your value made everyone talk. Familiar with “people talk regardless of what you do”? Setting aside illegal and inhumane crimes, it is not a sin to be different from the norm. We do not want to be judged, and from receiving the most painful comments yet regarding the things we did or could do, it is understandable to refrain from being in the spotlight. However, we lose the opportunity to reach our full potential, or simply, have fun. This may sound egoistic but make yourself believe that it is an honor to be a person they will spend time and energy conversing about. It does not matter what they say, as now that you know your worth, it is easier to be unbothered.
Relating to time again, have you ever felt procrastinating for thinking that you could face fear sometime then, using all the possible excuses there are? If yes, it’s time to wake up. Instead of later, do it now. You thought about it unexpectedly, start working on it today. Plant the seed in your mind with the awareness that you have to take care of it for it to bear fruit. Sharing another personal experience, which I may have said in my previous posts, I had a lot of story ideas but never took the action of writing them because I’m afraid it’s a waste of time. Yet the only waste of time is wondering what could have been if I did it then.
There are different ways to reprogram your mind, which can be researched online, and while most uses this for manifestation, I believe it is also needed to allow courage to overcome fear.
Take a step.
For something to exist, we must make it happen. To do so, we must answer two questions first: what do you want to do and why? Since our desire is past the comfort zone, we have to set our intentions clear. It is important that we fully understand the urgency, purpose, and form of our decision. For example, I want to earn money while I’m studying so in case I need extra funds for our production activities, I don’t need to ask my parents.
Then, it’s the how, which is difficult but essential. Since I am a socially awkward communication student, it is a challenge for me to branch out and connect with the world. I am more comfortable with my social media accounts having only less than three hundred people I know who follow me and are set in private. I am afraid of asking for favors, more so that involves money because I do not want to be a burden. I need to take a step. Since I have a public page dedicated to my writing and fan arts, perhaps I could use it to offer the same services?
The point is we should do something after setting our minds on it. To quote Jasmine Shah, a life and business mentor, in her episode on the “Just Glow With It” podcast, “you can decide who you want to be in life but you have to physically show up and make it happen.” Remember, it’s a step. You do not have to take a leap or make grand gestures yet, just a move that you can do at the moment. No matter how small or big it is, it contributes to conquering your fear and seeing yourself finally do what you just mostly imagine.
Feel the process.
While it does not take overnight to finally say that we overcome our fear, let us break the chain of the mindset that rewards are more important than the process. Feel the struggle, joy, and even loss in-between the steps we take. By now, we know that taking risks or getting out of our comfort zones does not guarantee immediate success. But allowing curiosity to take over, enduring the pressure, and the ecstatic feeling of solving a problem helps us develop.
This last tip is also intended for checking ourselves every once in a while. Working against our fear is not the same as lowering our boundaries, and being exposed, especially if we are not ready for that yet. There might be urges to continue taking steps, and while it is nice, assess if you’re doing more than what you can take. Know when to pause. Keep that fire burning but be familiar with proper timing. If unfortunately, you feel otherwise, do not pressure yourself to do anything against your will.
Personally, it made me know myself more. Though it is just the beginning, I already feel accomplished for finally living out of my head. It also adds confidence and peace that at least I am now in control of my fear. It is still there, but I do not let it take over me anymore. To put a scenario explaining how those tips became helpful for me, I will use my experience of opening commissions.
At first, I have this mindset that given the high competition in the online market, people might not see my products as worthy of their money. Shifting that into thinking that I could offer something useful for the right audience, I could be of help in inspiring someone with poetry or providing digital art as someone’s birthday gift. Before I finally decided to push through with the idea, knowing the importance of audience research in business, I seek help in a group online. For the first time, I tried to interact with a group of strangers asking whether or not should I start making commissions. To my surprise, they answered yes, and gave me tips on how should I properly set my prices. Some even showed interest in buying. For the first weeks of opening my commission, I already had several orders. Most of the time I feel nervous, sometimes sad for not receiving more, but more confident than the previous when I fear associating myself with business and people.
Gone should be the days when we stay inside our heads, imagining ourselves doing something but is prevented by fear of actually happening. Spend the next days of our lives with it as the best, though it means facing past painful memories because for us to get better is to address what made us worse.
Be afraid yet do it anyway.
I hope you enjoyed this blog! Share your story, either in the comments, or even message me personally. I want to know if these tips have helped you in any way as well. Is there any topic that you want me to discuss? Tell me!
Side promotion: If you are interested, I am open to commissions! I make custom vexel art, and poetry, and have a range of sticker designs available. To see samples, price list, and policies, click this link or head straight to my Instagram highlights entitled “commissions”: https://www.instagram.com/p/Cajpwx5FDPa/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
Have a great day! Flourish!
we thought we cannot 