WELCOME TO ADULTING: 18
When you turn eighteen, you’re officially a woman.
They say that a girl’s eighteenth birthday is one among the most special days in her lifetime. It is when she will debut officially as a grown-up woman. The age of when she is no longer a minor anymore, free to explore and experience life like the adults whom whenever she tries to ask only responds with “you can’t because you’re still a child.” Other says, it is the moment when she can slowly get out of her cocoon and be the beautiful butterfly that she is.
It may be pretty amusing to think about but it does give me the chills.
I am curious as to how I will celebrate my birthday but I am not ready to be eighteen. I am afraid of many things. My mind could not stop wondering, am I ready to step onto the real world? Am I responsible enough to be an adult? Am I ready to show them who I am and what I got? Wait, do I have anything to show?
I am afraid of facing responsibilities, real challenges, making decisions on my own that I should not rashly do, and be exposed of the world I was kept hidden (figuratively) by my family. In my mind, it looks like there is a monster waiting for the right time, ready to leap on me the moment I became legal. Just thinking about it makes me feel overwhelmed. After all, I was just a first-year college student then. How could I enter the real world if I do not even know the right path for me?
With all these worries bothering me, I still welcomed my birthday with a wide smile. My family, cousins, and friends visited and celebrated my day with me. It was actually the first time, I think, that my friends were able to visit our house. I live far away from school, and since my family were conservative, we cannot usually accept visitors without any substantial reason. Their presence, our shared laughter, the food my family prepared, and their gifts, made my day extra special. It was a private and intimate celebration. In a way, I thought about being eighteen as something “not that bad.”
I would be lying if I will say that I am not even in the tiniest bit excited and curious of what I could do now that I am not a minor anymore.
The first months of being 18 happened in a blur. I was able to write my first short film for a friend. During the production period, there are days which we had to shoot earlier as 3AM and wrap it up by 1AM of the next day. Though the elderly in our house were worried and are constantly communicating with me, I do not hear any reprimand for going home late. It is actually nice.
Aside from that, I was not able to experience much as expected because… pandemic happened. If there is anything out of the ordinary that I have tried now that I am legal, it is drinking alcohol. Well, of course in moderation and with the guidance of the elderly, I was able to try drinking my first alcoholic bottle. I now get the feeling of you know, “when things get rough, why not drink to temporarily get away?”
Sure enough, the worries are still there. But it is not like I could stop myself from getting old, right? I realized that there would be no better way for me to address these worries until I face them already. There is no guide on how to survive life for each of us has our path to take on so I guess, the best thing that I could do is to be mindful. I am already at a legal age, there is no turning back now. My actions have dire consequences and though I could not always make the right decisions, I should at least learn how to own it up.
Adulting is never easy. Responsibilities are heavy. Future is scary.
But that is life, we all get to this point.
What did you feel when you are near your debut? Are you excited? How did you celebrate? Feel free to share your thoughts with me in the comments! You may also contact me through my socials!
Hope you had a good read and day ahead!
we thought we cannot 